Boredom Times Boredom Squared Equals This Post.

Hola amigos! I'm bored to death, and I just can't take studying anymore. One more page of that Organic Chemistry bullcrap, and Marzouk will be history. And, right now, I'm kinda stalking unknown people (Admit it, we all stalk people), and these people are all bloggers. So anyways, I'm moving on from blog to blog, commenting, following, checking out their pictures, usual stuff. But one thing I've realised that, these people blog on a regular basis, something that I'm far off from. And henceforth, I've decided that I'll update my shit more than around twice a month- the way it's been all this while.

Recently, I stumbled upon the fact that I kinda like to think a lot. Even in the shower. No, seriously. I don't know if it's just a girl thing, but believe me man, this one time I was in the shower, and I found the cure for Alzheimer's disease, and a plan that would eradicate world poverty. I would not like to think of myself as a philosopher, but hey- I love to squeeze brain juice. It's actually much like the political systems of a country. You have the PM/King, who are said to run the country, and then you have the politicians, who actually run the country. Based on a scenario like that, a real philosopher falls on the PM/King end of the continuum, and I, on the politician end of the continuum. Anyhow, to find the exit route of boredom, I planned on crashing this party I knew about, and I told a friend about it. The picture below summarizes my plan in two words.

Have I made myself clear?

But the plan didn't work out so well. I'm mean, he's dumb as a rock. Oh I tell you people, I've women smarter than him. Btw, I just got done with my Physics Unit 5 today, and it was better than expected. Better than expected on the scale that the amount of syllabus to cover was something that made me give up last night. Yes, you got that right. I gave up. I was supposed to come home and take a nap, but fuck napping! Although I'm supposed to be really tired right now (I've been awake for 36+ hours as of now), but for some reason, I'm wide awake. Which is why the reason I'm frolicking around on the net watching Aziz Ansari shows. Man, I love Aziz Ansari. He's probably the reason people like me were meant to be. So. Goddamned. Hilarious. But I remember this one time, my dream of watching an Aziz Ansari show for real got me into a tad bit trouble. It's pretty long, so brace yourselves. Go get a cup of coffee, if you like. Meanwhile, I'll just check out what's up on Facebook.

Yeah, back. Nothing new, really. Except that I decided to post stupid comments on some Harry Potter pages. I often do that. An example? I'll give you that. XD

Oh, yes. I fuck with them. (Click to enlarge, it's crazy.)

Okay, so that Aziz Ansari story. It's pretty sad, atleast on my side. But anyhow, it starts off one Tuesday, when I see this ad on the Internet, and it said that I could enter my mobile number, and on doing so, I would automatically enter a draw where the winner gets a ticket to an Aziz Ansari show. And to a fan like me, shit is like is way too feckin' hard to turn down. So, I tried my luck, and even before you knew it, I typed in my number. I received a text that night, which confirmed my entrance into the draw, and let's just say that came as an ounce of the greatest delight. However, the net day onwards, these dipshits started deducting 4SR/Day from my account, and this went like for a full week. 2 more days with that shit, and I'd have ended up on the streets, crying for my daily share of bread. To compensate for the cash I've lost on this, I set up a money making scheme, where I could get those not back into my wallet. The plan was that I tried playing monopoly with real cash with some of my cousins, but as luck turns out, that was a bust too.

I can't believe how these Internet dudes can just get away with shit like that aimed at teenagers. Believe me, it got on my nerves to an extent, where I decided to sue these guys. But then again, to fight a case, you need a lawyer. And let's not forget that lawyer's cost a lot of money, and like's I've said before, monopoly was a piece of trash. But believe me, I haven't given up hope yet, which is why I'm still smiling. Cunning as a fox. Fact is, I've got a link into these courts and shit. I mean, this law school friend, Ruqaiyyah Kazi, she's pretty far off from graduating law school, but when she's finally done Inshaa Allah, I'll let her fight the case for me, for free.

Yeah, that's about it. Here's a song I'd like to share with you people out there. It's an old Eminem song. But to all those who believe, let me tell you, Eminem's music is like wine, it gets better with age. I miss the old Eminem btw. Before he joined the Illuminati, that is. Sick bastard. Although, I still respect him. Here's the song anyway.

The Eminem Show. One of the finest.

Anyways, I'll leave now. Drowsy feelings setting in, you know. Later, I'll have to hit the Chemistry books. Got the second last exam tomorrow. Sweet Baby Jesus, I can smell freedom, already. And it's heavenly white light is somewhat shining from around the corner. I feel better when I think of it. On a parting note, I ask anyone who might be reading this, irrespective of whether you know me or not, to pray for my exams, as Edexcel is strongly against me. Adios, peeps!

Peace.

A Very Random 50. Response to Adler Seloraz.

This is totally random. And the only reason behind this is, I.., man, I don't know how to say this. Like, I've received my first fan mail, ever. Like, ever. And this feels great. xD

Anyways, out of all the countries from where I've had blog views, Germany was the weirdest. I mean, I knew Germany existed because of Adolf Hitler (Respect, Brah.), and their women with beer. So, anyhow, I got the email from this total stranger who currently resides in Hamburg, Germany. In that mail, he actually appreciates my stuff, and wants to know more about me. I'm guessing this is what fame feels like. Jk, I'm always fabulous. At first, I thought it was some guy at the CIA trying to track me down since I'm y'know, too awesome. But anyways Bro, thanks for your mail. You have no idea how much this means to me. And now, I'll hit you up with some totally random stuff about me that you've asked for- and I sincerely hope you like it.

Oh, and for anyone out there who might be reading this, here's a screenshot of the mail.

My first fan mail. XD (Please click to enlarge)

And now, I'm on it.

x You know my name, and where I am from, so that's pointless for an intro.

x Being awesome since February '94.

x Nailed all Bangla swear words by the age of 16.

x When I was 17, I tried sniffing powdered panadol to get that coke-addict feel. I ended up puking.

x I believe that a liquid form of cocaine is sold in stores under the name of RedBull.

x When I grow up, I want to be either a writer, a comedian, or worst case scenario, a doctor concerning forensic biology.

x I've been into the same girl for 5 years now, and the worst part is yet to come- which is that, I've never told her about it completely, although I'm guessing she knows it. I'm just that pathetic.

x I am a Pisces- 24th Feb

x If I were a girl, my role model would definitely be Bonnie Clyde. May the Lord take mercy on her.

x When I was 5, I was marooned by some niggers off the coast of Cuba. I fought my way out of that place even if there were a few male lions guarding the way. Then, I took the next flight out to Riyadh, K.S.A, where I currently reside.

x When I get bored, I blog. Or, when I get bored blogging, I stalk weird people on FaceBook. Which is why I hope to God that they don't develop a software which lets you know who's visited your profile. If they do, that'll be the day I commit suicide.

x My blog has seen it's birth at the greatest extent of extreme boredom.

x I'm one of those guys who doesn't get addicted to Call of Duty, but gets addicted to Temple Run, instead.

x I'm a really nice person, but there are a few people who I find annoying by looks. They just need a high five in the face, with a shovel.

x If I'm mean to you, it doesn't mean that I'm bad at heart. Cuz, that's far off from what I actually am.

x I hope to die by crashing into a glass building while bungee-jumping.

x I hate cats as much as I hate Lil' Wayne. And, it has come to my notice that he's currently hiring mobs to murder me. Well, Wayne, hit me with your best shot. XD

x I will never date any girl who thinks that cats are "sho cute", and "sho chweet". Yes, that's true. Even if she had a size D, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and had a higher a sex drive than 60% of the the pornstars today.

x It kills me when I realise that I've got many people's backs, but very few have got mine.

x I go crazy when I'm trying to imagine what my life would've been like if I wasn't friends with my friends.

x I love people who read my blog, and I'm open to criticism of any sort.

x Anger management is probably one of the best things about me.

x I used to write poetry long back, and now I realise how weird I've been, back in the days. When I turn 20, maybe, just maybe, I'll probably delete my blog.

x I make a lot of mistakes in choosing the people I can actually trust.

x Personally speaking, I think I've hurt a few people here and there. Unintentional actions.

x The best thing I've ever heard about my writing is that someday, I may win a Pulitzer. It wasn't sarcasm. However, I'm a 110% sure that I'm not even close to even qualify for the Pulitzer.

x Worse thing I ever heard about my blog is "Who reads this stuff?" And believe me, it was one of my close friends.

x I think Dan Brown is the best write there was, is, and ever will be.

x I love Lily Aldrin, and hope to do her on my boss's table someday.

x If I were to be committing a major sin, it would definitely be lust.

x My sanity matches Frankenstein's. Should explain how things are around me.

x I'm with Germany for the Euro Cup. Although, I equally support Spain, Holland, Croatia, and Sweden. (Mainly because of their ladies.)

x Even though I'm 18 years old, I still get confused about the spelling of calendar. (Like, I'm still not sure if it's calender/calendar, lol)

x I've never washed/ironed my clothes.

x I believe that every one of us has a loner inside. And that, is probably what the topic of my next blog post will be.

x I dream wild, man. I dream wild. This one time, I dreamt that I came to this big ass party in a stretch limo wearing an Armani suit, and a Tag Heuer. The usher opened the door, and I stepped on to the red carpet. Sometime through the party I downed a bottle of JD, another of FireWhisky, and went home with dead hot twins. 4 boobs, yes. That wild.

x My celebrity crush-list is 2 and a half pages long.

x Twilight hater.

x I will perfectly fit your definition of a paranoid person.

x I am seriously flawed.

x I'm one of the guys behind the September 11 attacks. I planned it with my Bro, Bin Laden, while we would smoke joints on the mountains of the Afghan Territory. RIP, Bro. You are missed. <3

x I wonder if they actually put Bin Laden in Davy Jones's Locker.

x Right now, I miss Tariq, Amir, and Ruqaiyyah.

x Even though he's an alcoholic, a sex addict, and has got extremely bad behaviour, Russell Brand is God to me.

x I am very, very tensed about my graduation, which is like weeks away.

x I have an imaginary Polish friend called Frankie Armstrong. Frankie's a cold blooded serial killer.

x Lastly, I like pies. And cocaine.

Alright, I think I got nothing else. I mean, you cant just expect someone to go on talking about themselves. Believe me, I tried, and it was then when I realised how I little I knew of myself. And it is with regret that I say that I haven't got a grip on myself, and the life around me, yet. But I promise, I will. It just needs me to set my mind on it. But anyways, I'd like you to know that my dead Bro, Bin Laden has just texted me from his grave, asking me to do a favour that shall greatly please him. What the favour is, is something you'll get to at the end of this post.

Brb, bombing New York City, atm. Peace.