A Guy with a Shopping List

It was all fun and games until Dad had to leave for Riyadh. So soon after his departure, mom said that I'd have to step up, and take "his place and role". And I'm not gonna lie, but I was pretty excited at first. That's because I thought taking "his place and role", meant getting my hands on all the family money. Little did I know, that I was far off from reality.

This post is pretty big, so here's something for you to listen in the meantime.

This song was used in Step Up 3D, in the Battle of Gwai routine. Anyways, going back. It all started with me having to accompany mom to the departmental stores, and help her out with the grocery shopping. Man, I think my mom is the only person in the whole wide world who thinks that shopping for food, and groceries, are just as fun as buying clothes, shoes, and phones. No kidding.

Slowly and steadily, mom upped the ante by making me take my siblings to school, to which I agreed without an argument. But then, she had touched the wrong nerve when she said that, from now on, I'd have to do all the shopping. I thought ignoring the nagging would divert her mind from the decision. Sadly, the trick hardly seemed to work, and she came upon me with a full blown attack about why I wasn't being a proper "elder brother". So, I succumbed, and finally went grocery shopping. At least, I went down swinging. It was at this point that I realised that shopping isn't as easy as I thought it'd be. To my delight, I came back with all the right things, except for one thing- the wrong brand of mango juice, which my sister wanted. And needless to say, she had a meltdown. Such was first encounter with grocery shopping, and I wasn't really looking forward to a second encounter.

Since I'm supposed to be starting university pretty soon, my mom keeps bugging me about why I still don't know how to prepare the basic dishes, survival methods bla bla, parental concern crap, you name it. I wasn't sure where she was going with this...until she said that it was high time that I learned to cook. The moment I heard that, it was as if a rug had been pulled off from right under me. I mean, come on, I did not see THAT coming! You know, all this actually reminds me of my IGCSE days. Sometime during 2010-11, my mom, and my sister travelled to Dhaka, whilst the two of us brothers, along with Dad stayed behind in Riyadh. I was stuck with my exams, Dad with work, and my brother with...well, he's good at nothing. Since any of us hardly knew how to cook, we'd settle for fast-food every single day. KFC, Burger King, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Herfy- every fucking day. And believe it or not, one day, we got tired of it. So the next day, we decided to eat home made food. But here's the problem: Neither Dad, nor my brother hardly knew how to boil an egg, let alone cooking. And I was out of the question. However, we were determined, it was going to be home made food, and not junkies. And finally, they came onto a middle ground.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my Dad and my younger brother decided to cook.

That exact instant, my rat instinct told me that things were gonna get ugly. They got confused between the spices, and all. To top it all off, my dad and brother got into an argument. If this went on for too long, it was sure to create some disturbances in the building, so I drew a sign on a piece of paper, and stuck it outside our flat, to ward off neighbours.

Except the fact that this sign looks a thousand times better than mine.

So yeah, they kept arguing, while I went out to get some dinner for everybody. Believe me, I was being the mature guy here. I guess this is what happens when you leave it on a dad of 3 children, and  14 year old kid to do all the cooking. I returned to find out that they've given up on their quest, and were at loggerheads. So, I got everybody at the table, and gave out dinner. I didn't know whether to consolate my dad, or my brother. But considering the fact that the Sarouk I got for dinner, which is an Arabian delight, was in front of me,  I decided it was best to concentrate on the food. However, I think my brother was really mad, so prior to the first bite of dinner I took, this is what he did.

Meant for some humor. Please do not come up with your religious issues.

So yeah, that's the mayhem we faced without a female in the family. I hope this doesn't happen a second time. Speaking of second times, I was forced to go shopping today, again. As usual, I came back with the right things. Only place I went wrong was that I got tomato chilli sauce, instead of chilli garlic sauce, which to my horror, was wanted by sister. The minute she saw it, the threw the largest tantrum you could possibly imagine. So long story short, she had another meltdown. And sure enough, it was worse than the last one.

Remember when I told you that mom said I had to start off doing a bit of cooking? Well, I thought it was out of bounds, until last week. You see, just a few days ago, a college friend of my mom's fell terribly ill, and mom went to look after her, besides her friend's mom. So, basically, I was hung out to dry alone, along with the maid, who would leave at 10pm, daily. And considering the amount of detail you know about me, you should know that I sleep really really late. I stay up blogging, watching TV, series, mainly pointless shit. So, it's bound that I get hungry sometime during the night. So, this one time, the pangs of hunger embarked upon me like the Angel of Death. And right away, I knew that this time, there was no running away. There was some marinated chicken in the freezer, and I planned to fry/bake/cook to make it edible in the least way possible. I tossed and turned and turned the chicken in every possible direction, but to my dismay, it was no good. I decided it was time to do something every true Bangladeshi teenager did. I got...Maggi noodles.

I think it was totally made for us.

You see, I always thought that all these food related issues were something easy, and not to be too worried about. I guess the proverb below sums up my mindset before I came across all this.

Lesson learned the hard way.

Such were my experiences with food. I pray that God save thee from such unfortunate events.

Later. Marzoukeh, out.

I Write. U Read.

Hii. See? When I told you that this time around, I’m back for good, I wasn’t kidding. Anyways, before I start off, let me throw it out to you, that this is just another one of my banters, and has no specific topic. Most of which are based on my times here. Oh btw, my blog is very near to completing its first year out on the net. It’s not like I’m not excited or anything, ah, who am I kidding- ‘course I’m excited. Yes, the amount of blog posts/followers I have are way too low compared to what I’ve should put up in a year, but come on; it’s not that big a deal, right?

Today, my mom asked me to tutor my baby sister, cuz she’s got her exams coming up and shit. Well, I’ll make a clean breast of it. At first, I didn’t try well, I was just getting along with most of the stuff she was saying. But, a while later, it hit me, this was my own sister that I was teaching. As an elder brother, I shouldn’t be misleading her. And that is when I started trying for real, and believe it or not, teaching a kid is definitely, I repeat, definitely the hardest task I’ve ever come across. As with enough reason, I totally gave up that shit. So much for being an elder brother. She held this stuff against me, and naturally, we were at loggerheads. That is, until she sent me to Coventry. Well, what can I say?

Baby sisters.


I admit I was mad at first, which to my horror, was something that my brother noticed. When he asked me about it, the picture below completely sums up my reaction.

I lied.

You know ever since I got done with my A Levels, I haven’t touched a book- like, literally. Now, whenever my mom takes that tone of nagging me to study, which she does out of habit, I look at her straight in the eye, with the expression that says something like: “Yeah, you got something to say?” And, let me tell you, that feels pretty darn good. However, it’s not all bright sides. You see, since I’ve not written anything in a long ass time, my current handwriting is worse than a 3 year old with ADD. No, I’m not kidding. I remember faking to be sick when I’d have tuitions I didn’t feel like attending, but my dad usually calls my bluff, so I attend them anyway. It’s actually nice, y’know- faking to be sick. I mean, you always get to have someone fuss over you.

Oh hey, I almost forgot to tell you people, it was my parents’ 19th anniversary, yesterday. Dad isn’t here, so mom had dinner at home, something she never did until now, during her anniversaries. However, my brother and I got her this cake pictured below. And the taste of that cake still lingers in me, and sometimes, it haunts me. I’ve never tasted a cake quite like it.

I miss you, cake.

Oh, and did I tell you that yesterday, dad called us in, and dropped a huge bombshell? Turns out that I’m going back to Riyadh within a very short time. Few weeks, tops. And, let’s just say that I overreacted a tad bit more than I should have. Hey, don’t blame me! I come from a big line of major over reactors. My mom- total nutjob. Stories about my grandfather over reacting were legendary. So yeah, it pretty much runs in my blood. At first- I thought Mom was gonna chew Dad out for letting us go back home. Well, that did happen, but towards the end, mom said that she’ll “think about it”. And, living with my family for 18 years, I have come to learn that “think about it” always meant a positive outcome. So, it basically translates to “Yep, the kids can go back.”

First thing I do when I go back home, is play a FIFA 12 tourney with my people. I know FIFA 13 is out and all, but 12 just seems to be more comfy. Man, I totally miss ditching tuitions, and attending these FIFA 12 tourneys. However, this one time, I got busted, and that totally set my parents on fire. Because, as strange as it may seem to be, to my parents, ditching tuitions, is worse than doing cocaine, and getting 3 girls pregnant. Whatever the hell, I can’t wait to go back. You know, I kinda feel dizzy. I think it has something to do with the long hours of nonstop dubstep blasting through my headphones. Next on the playlist, is "A Milli" by Lil' Wayne, and I think we all know how much I despise him. No hate Mr. Wayne, but please stop making records. You will be doing all of us a favour.

You know you cannot disagree.

Alright, man. The latest episode of Modern Family is about to air, which I cannot miss, even if Hell should bar the way. However, as I leave, let me warn you of not letting away any opportunities to kick back and have fun that you might get. Because,  life will usually get in the way.

Peace, yo.