A Guy with a Shopping List

It was all fun and games until Dad had to leave for Riyadh. So soon after his departure, mom said that I'd have to step up, and take "his place and role". And I'm not gonna lie, but I was pretty excited at first. That's because I thought taking "his place and role", meant getting my hands on all the family money. Little did I know, that I was far off from reality.

This post is pretty big, so here's something for you to listen in the meantime.

This song was used in Step Up 3D, in the Battle of Gwai routine. Anyways, going back. It all started with me having to accompany mom to the departmental stores, and help her out with the grocery shopping. Man, I think my mom is the only person in the whole wide world who thinks that shopping for food, and groceries, are just as fun as buying clothes, shoes, and phones. No kidding.

Slowly and steadily, mom upped the ante by making me take my siblings to school, to which I agreed without an argument. But then, she had touched the wrong nerve when she said that, from now on, I'd have to do all the shopping. I thought ignoring the nagging would divert her mind from the decision. Sadly, the trick hardly seemed to work, and she came upon me with a full blown attack about why I wasn't being a proper "elder brother". So, I succumbed, and finally went grocery shopping. At least, I went down swinging. It was at this point that I realised that shopping isn't as easy as I thought it'd be. To my delight, I came back with all the right things, except for one thing- the wrong brand of mango juice, which my sister wanted. And needless to say, she had a meltdown. Such was first encounter with grocery shopping, and I wasn't really looking forward to a second encounter.

Since I'm supposed to be starting university pretty soon, my mom keeps bugging me about why I still don't know how to prepare the basic dishes, survival methods bla bla, parental concern crap, you name it. I wasn't sure where she was going with this...until she said that it was high time that I learned to cook. The moment I heard that, it was as if a rug had been pulled off from right under me. I mean, come on, I did not see THAT coming! You know, all this actually reminds me of my IGCSE days. Sometime during 2010-11, my mom, and my sister travelled to Dhaka, whilst the two of us brothers, along with Dad stayed behind in Riyadh. I was stuck with my exams, Dad with work, and my brother with...well, he's good at nothing. Since any of us hardly knew how to cook, we'd settle for fast-food every single day. KFC, Burger King, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Herfy- every fucking day. And believe it or not, one day, we got tired of it. So the next day, we decided to eat home made food. But here's the problem: Neither Dad, nor my brother hardly knew how to boil an egg, let alone cooking. And I was out of the question. However, we were determined, it was going to be home made food, and not junkies. And finally, they came onto a middle ground.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my Dad and my younger brother decided to cook.

That exact instant, my rat instinct told me that things were gonna get ugly. They got confused between the spices, and all. To top it all off, my dad and brother got into an argument. If this went on for too long, it was sure to create some disturbances in the building, so I drew a sign on a piece of paper, and stuck it outside our flat, to ward off neighbours.

Except the fact that this sign looks a thousand times better than mine.

So yeah, they kept arguing, while I went out to get some dinner for everybody. Believe me, I was being the mature guy here. I guess this is what happens when you leave it on a dad of 3 children, and  14 year old kid to do all the cooking. I returned to find out that they've given up on their quest, and were at loggerheads. So, I got everybody at the table, and gave out dinner. I didn't know whether to consolate my dad, or my brother. But considering the fact that the Sarouk I got for dinner, which is an Arabian delight, was in front of me,  I decided it was best to concentrate on the food. However, I think my brother was really mad, so prior to the first bite of dinner I took, this is what he did.

Meant for some humor. Please do not come up with your religious issues.

So yeah, that's the mayhem we faced without a female in the family. I hope this doesn't happen a second time. Speaking of second times, I was forced to go shopping today, again. As usual, I came back with the right things. Only place I went wrong was that I got tomato chilli sauce, instead of chilli garlic sauce, which to my horror, was wanted by sister. The minute she saw it, the threw the largest tantrum you could possibly imagine. So long story short, she had another meltdown. And sure enough, it was worse than the last one.

Remember when I told you that mom said I had to start off doing a bit of cooking? Well, I thought it was out of bounds, until last week. You see, just a few days ago, a college friend of my mom's fell terribly ill, and mom went to look after her, besides her friend's mom. So, basically, I was hung out to dry alone, along with the maid, who would leave at 10pm, daily. And considering the amount of detail you know about me, you should know that I sleep really really late. I stay up blogging, watching TV, series, mainly pointless shit. So, it's bound that I get hungry sometime during the night. So, this one time, the pangs of hunger embarked upon me like the Angel of Death. And right away, I knew that this time, there was no running away. There was some marinated chicken in the freezer, and I planned to fry/bake/cook to make it edible in the least way possible. I tossed and turned and turned the chicken in every possible direction, but to my dismay, it was no good. I decided it was time to do something every true Bangladeshi teenager did. I got...Maggi noodles.

I think it was totally made for us.

You see, I always thought that all these food related issues were something easy, and not to be too worried about. I guess the proverb below sums up my mindset before I came across all this.

Lesson learned the hard way.

Such were my experiences with food. I pray that God save thee from such unfortunate events.

Later. Marzoukeh, out.

Random Life Update 2 .0

 Yet another one of my pointless banters. Hi.

As you can see, I changed the template and font of my blog, because I was bored with the old red-yellow look. I am not completely sure if this is better than the previous one, but whatever. Man, I don't think I'll ever be done complaining about my life. And as a lot of you may have noticed, many a time, all I am is a one-way street.

So, we've hit December. And, you should know how much jam packed this month is. We will be supposedly meeting the Apocalypse, as predicted by the Mayans. And then, there's our Victory Day. Or, Independence Day, I'm not sure. No kidding, but I don't have our national anthem completely memorized, either. So, I tend to mix our national holidays up. Next up, there's Christmas, if we survive the damn Apocalyspe, that is. And to top it all off, there's December the 31st, which I bet, everyone, sane or not, thoroughly enjoys.

I haven't really thought up of any plans for this year, which I really need to get at. As for December the 16th, I'll just have to make sure that I don't get too onboard with the vibes around, which might result in me doing something that is immensely messed up. Last year, at some Victory Day party, I lost my mind, and this is what I did.

In my defence, I was a year younger, and possibly, might have been drugged.

So now you have an idea of what I'm talking about. I don't have any lasting memories of that party, save this picture. I don't remember what I did then, but I can tell you what they're USUALLY like. And like it or not, they are mostly, not mostly, but always dreadful. There are people you hangout with, the aunties who love carrying tales, the uncles who would discuss nothing else, but the latest political issues, and then, there's the usual fight scene, where people start cursing at each other, in public. They say words are like bullets, but I beg to differ. I enjoy bullets way more than words. Way more.

I seem to have changed as a person ever since I moved here. You see, when I used to live in Riyadh, I used to be the polar opposite of a cat person. I know a lot of people who go like, "OMG, cats are so this, and so that." What they fail to see is, that cats are some insane, dirty, and not to mention scary sons of bitches. Little did I know, that all this was about to change. And this amazing thing happened, the day I met Snowy, who is a cat owned by one of my friends.

Behold, the most beautiful cat in all the world. People, I give, to you, Snowy.

Love at first sight.

Ever since then, I've been longing to get a pet cat. But, then I cooked up an awesome idea for a pet. My pet was going to be a baby wolf, because cats are just too mainstream.

So, when they said that I changed quite a bit, I guess they weren't completely wrong. One reason behind that, may be the lack of close friends here, and hence, the amount of fun. However, if booze and meth are your thing, Dhaka is the place to be. It used to be a lot of fun before, I tell you. I see these old pictures, and all I can wonder is how fast life changes course, without any warning whatsoever. All in all, I miss my friends. I  miss football. I miss the beloved mothership. I miss Saudi money. Simply put, I miss having fun. Not long before, this is what could be described as fun, to me. Hanging out with the awesomest friends on the face of Mother Earth. The picture below was taken at Tariq's farewell, the guy in the white checkered shirt. Behind us, is Hamad, the life of all parties.

Euphorial Climax.

So that's the turn that my life has taken, changing many a thing along with it. I was always your average T-shirt and jeans guy, and now, I'm a shirt and bermuda guy. Not the greatest change, but still as weird as any. What happened to everyone? Distance is now increasingly becoming a factor to be taken care of. What happened to all those times when everyone would get baked, and not be able to see what's 2 feet in front of them? What happened to all those times, when someone would splash a bit of water on you, thus beginning a massive water fight? What happened to graduation night? What happened to the days, when I got my AS Level grades, kept the original copy, and produced a fake for my parents? What happened to all those crazy times?

I may not have any idea of whatever happened to the things that made life worthwhile, but I do know this- no matter what, it is still worth looking forward to everything. Cause, that's the only logical thing we can do, right?

Good day, you.

I Write. U Read.

Hii. See? When I told you that this time around, I’m back for good, I wasn’t kidding. Anyways, before I start off, let me throw it out to you, that this is just another one of my banters, and has no specific topic. Most of which are based on my times here. Oh btw, my blog is very near to completing its first year out on the net. It’s not like I’m not excited or anything, ah, who am I kidding- ‘course I’m excited. Yes, the amount of blog posts/followers I have are way too low compared to what I’ve should put up in a year, but come on; it’s not that big a deal, right?

Today, my mom asked me to tutor my baby sister, cuz she’s got her exams coming up and shit. Well, I’ll make a clean breast of it. At first, I didn’t try well, I was just getting along with most of the stuff she was saying. But, a while later, it hit me, this was my own sister that I was teaching. As an elder brother, I shouldn’t be misleading her. And that is when I started trying for real, and believe it or not, teaching a kid is definitely, I repeat, definitely the hardest task I’ve ever come across. As with enough reason, I totally gave up that shit. So much for being an elder brother. She held this stuff against me, and naturally, we were at loggerheads. That is, until she sent me to Coventry. Well, what can I say?

Baby sisters.


I admit I was mad at first, which to my horror, was something that my brother noticed. When he asked me about it, the picture below completely sums up my reaction.

I lied.

You know ever since I got done with my A Levels, I haven’t touched a book- like, literally. Now, whenever my mom takes that tone of nagging me to study, which she does out of habit, I look at her straight in the eye, with the expression that says something like: “Yeah, you got something to say?” And, let me tell you, that feels pretty darn good. However, it’s not all bright sides. You see, since I’ve not written anything in a long ass time, my current handwriting is worse than a 3 year old with ADD. No, I’m not kidding. I remember faking to be sick when I’d have tuitions I didn’t feel like attending, but my dad usually calls my bluff, so I attend them anyway. It’s actually nice, y’know- faking to be sick. I mean, you always get to have someone fuss over you.

Oh hey, I almost forgot to tell you people, it was my parents’ 19th anniversary, yesterday. Dad isn’t here, so mom had dinner at home, something she never did until now, during her anniversaries. However, my brother and I got her this cake pictured below. And the taste of that cake still lingers in me, and sometimes, it haunts me. I’ve never tasted a cake quite like it.

I miss you, cake.

Oh, and did I tell you that yesterday, dad called us in, and dropped a huge bombshell? Turns out that I’m going back to Riyadh within a very short time. Few weeks, tops. And, let’s just say that I overreacted a tad bit more than I should have. Hey, don’t blame me! I come from a big line of major over reactors. My mom- total nutjob. Stories about my grandfather over reacting were legendary. So yeah, it pretty much runs in my blood. At first- I thought Mom was gonna chew Dad out for letting us go back home. Well, that did happen, but towards the end, mom said that she’ll “think about it”. And, living with my family for 18 years, I have come to learn that “think about it” always meant a positive outcome. So, it basically translates to “Yep, the kids can go back.”

First thing I do when I go back home, is play a FIFA 12 tourney with my people. I know FIFA 13 is out and all, but 12 just seems to be more comfy. Man, I totally miss ditching tuitions, and attending these FIFA 12 tourneys. However, this one time, I got busted, and that totally set my parents on fire. Because, as strange as it may seem to be, to my parents, ditching tuitions, is worse than doing cocaine, and getting 3 girls pregnant. Whatever the hell, I can’t wait to go back. You know, I kinda feel dizzy. I think it has something to do with the long hours of nonstop dubstep blasting through my headphones. Next on the playlist, is "A Milli" by Lil' Wayne, and I think we all know how much I despise him. No hate Mr. Wayne, but please stop making records. You will be doing all of us a favour.

You know you cannot disagree.

Alright, man. The latest episode of Modern Family is about to air, which I cannot miss, even if Hell should bar the way. However, as I leave, let me warn you of not letting away any opportunities to kick back and have fun that you might get. Because,  life will usually get in the way.

Peace, yo.

Between Now, and Hereafter.

Hi, hello, please spare me the usual intro where I say how long it’s been, and accuse myself of irregularity. Well, guilty as charged.  If this blog was a world famous one, right now, I would have walked in on gunpoint, and would be feeling a billion eyeballs on my back. Matter of fact, I lost track of time ever since I stopped blogging. And now, honestly, it is seemingly pretty hard picking up where we left off. But nevertheless, this time, Marzoukeh has returned for good- no shit. I am not leaving this time, until death do us apart, or…someone offers me a soda, whichever comes first.

Yes, I do relate to this.

Okay, first up, let me tell you why I’ve been out for awhile now. Well, primarily, it’s not like my love for blogging has faced any tarnishes, however, I lack motivation. And believe me, I wouldn’t have been back now, if it wasn’t for this mail I received a few days ago. This amazing blogger I know, Fareeha noticed that I was far out, and buzzed me. And, THAT was some hardcore motivation, dare I say. Heck, if you ask me, I’m still having the shakes from blogging withdrawal. Visit Fareeha’s amazing blog HERE, and just so you know Fareeha, your post about your first crush has made me write about mine. However, there is no way in Hell that I’m putting it up on my blog. Here's a song for y'all to enjoy while I bore you with my banter. Oh btw, people I know, either LOVE or HATE this song. So, if you hate it, don't bite me. To me however, it is just 4 mins of genius music.

"Be students, be teachers. be politicians. be preachers. Be believers,be leaders, be astronauts, be champions, be true seekers."

Anyways, going back, I was off because, all in all, Dhaka has been a crazy roller coaster ride so far. I’ve met a buttload of people, of which some I dearly love, some of them were last seen when I as young as being breastfed, and the rest of them were “bloody dreadful”. People have been telling me of how I love my hometown with all my heart. That I do, alright. What these people miss is that, THIS place isn’t my hometown. Riyadh is home. And only the Man upstairs knows how much I miss home. On the brighter side, I have now gone through a lot of new experiences. And when I say “a lot”, I mean, a bloody lot. But, as the night falls, the city lights fade away, and the country goes to sleep, that is when my morning alarm buzzes off! It’s not like I don’t sleep at night, it’s just that I have tones of sleepless nights. And that is exactly when I pour my mind out of pieces of paper, filling page after page. At times, I wonder what shall become of these once I’m no longer around. But eventually, writing tires me off, and there come a time when even RedBull don’t give me no wings.

You see, the people here are lunatics by birth. Let’s take my maid, for example. You know how obsession is defined as the excessive love of something/somebody, to a stage where they can’t stop pondering over the said subject, and is considered creepy? Well, my maid takes the word “obsession” to a whole new level of creepy. She is totally caught up the cricket hype. A few nights a week, when I’m up late at night, watching the Champions League play-offs, she’d come to me and ask if she could watch cricket. I mean, cricket over UEFA Champions League? Are you fucking kidding me? Being a hardcore fan of our cricket team, she knows all their players, their birthdays and what the fuck not. She knows so much detail that it sometimes freaks me out. I think the sole thing that keeps her alive is that some well-known cricket player will someday fly out here, swoop here off her feet, and fly off to some other place. I’m not sure, though. I’m just making an assumption, but as far as I’m concerned, the amount of detail my maid has, my assumption seems to be very much valid. Man, I’m through with this maid. I’ve decided that, next thing tomorrow morning, I’m telling mom that it’s either the maid or I that’s leaving the house. But knowing my mom, she might have second thoughts about dismissing the maid, and end up ruling me out. And since I don’t like my odds, I decided it’s best to be silent for a while.

You know, it actually does feel great to be back. Although, I admit, being irregular has decreased my typing top speed. I think my brother has won just one typing speed test against me, and he just won’t shut up about it. I wish he’d stop for once, when he sees me going all tippity-tap on my laptop. Another thing I realized is that most bloggers I know are Pakistani. There’s Sarah Saud from “The Turmoils of My Life”, Fareeha from "Furree Katt", Shahzaad Ahsan from "Evil", and I think two other people. At first, it felt pretty weird when I didn’t find any blogger from the place I hail from. But then again, I think blogging is pretty Indie, so I don’t blame anybody. However, to all newbie bloggers out there, high five.

Lord Stinson knows how to do it best!

I have a cousin’s birthday party tomorrow, and believe it or not, I haven’t decided what to get him, yet. I was thinking a pair of hi-tops will suffice, but I don’t know where to get an authentic pair of those bad boys. But you know what- it really doesn’t matter. Because, at most of the parties here, I’m alone in a crowded room. Heck, don’t get me wrong. Neither am I emo, nor am I anti-social, it’s just that, I feel there’s a lot missing, and I’ve come to the wrong place. I’m not really sure on how to describe this feeling, but more on that later. Because, as of now, I think this post is getting extremely big. On a parting note, here’s something for the people who feel lost like I do. Always remember, that not all those wander in the wild, are lost.

And if any of you people can, please drop some good songs on the comment section below this post. Cuz, I’m starved of good music atm. And, do not dare to suggest anything from the BillBoard Top 100. Heard, and nailed the lyrics of every single one of them. Okay, maybe not the lyrics.

Peace out, posse.

Random Life Update

Okay, so it may have seemed I’ve given up blogging. But, in all honesty, that may have not been the case. It’s just that, as many of you may know, I graduated, and thus moved back to Dhaka, in order to go abroad again for university. Well, now it seems that the university plans have crashed, and shatter my plans and such, so I came back to maintaining my blog, in order to pass some time. Cause let’s face it- Life in Dhaka has been too hectic, atleast for me. Fact is, I don’t know how manage to pass all their lives here. Like, you need superpowers to survive this place, man!

Anyways, now that I’m back, you should’ve calculated that you’ve got a lot to catch up on. And that is if you care about my blog, which you should, cause I’m like George Clooney, only better. No shit.

So, like I was saying, ever since grad, I’ve been laying out my entire university plans just to make sure that everything goes with the flow. But aah, I got rejected for my VISA to enter the UK, for a reason that only God knows. However, as I write, I’m doing a lot better, than I was doing 3 days ago, y’know, getting over it. I mean, come on, how does it feel if your stepping stone to the big things faces a halt? And let me tell you, that shit was too much to handle. But then again, everyone has their own idea of how much is too much. On the up side, if what they say has any truth, I’ll survive through this. Well, that I am, only that I’ve no idea of what my next step should be, which according to me is pretty fucked up. Like I’m literally stuck between going to Riyadh again, and just staying back in Dhaka. But fear not, I plan to come up with a decision within the next week. So, plans may have changed, but dreams have not vanished. So, it’s all cool.

Moving further, I realize that I’m missing on what’s going on with you folks. So if you’re reading this, hit me up, you know how to reach me. Like, I have no idea of what you guys did on Eid. Oh, and let me tell you beforehand that my Eid sucked ass. I did nothing but sleep through the whole day. And the reason to that is cause the night before Eid, everything made this big fuss with the moon-sighting, which is a pretty big thing in BD. It's like, all the people in Dhanmondi were on our roof that night. So when I finally woke up in like the afternoon or something, I replied to all the texts wishing people back. But this texting back thing has a thing about it which I'll never forget. Like, among all the texts, I received this one text, which was like Half Bangla- Half English. And even though I'm fluent in Bangla, I did not even slightly understand what that text meant. I figured out it was one of those texts with a hidden deep shit inspirational message. Since I couldn't decipher it, I just replied wishing him "Eid Mubarak". Since Eid is supposed to be a happy day, I didn't have the heart to confront the dude who sent me the "deep" text. And that is pretty much all that went about on Eid.

Man, did I ever mention how much I miss Riyadh? I mean, starting from my own neighborhood, to the posh restaurants in Tahaliya St. Forget that, I miss my lifelong friends, the memories made there, the football played there, the jokes made there, the weed smoked there, and the women nailed there. Yes, of course, cross out the last two.

I'd do anything to go back to Riyadh. It is, indeed, the best place on Earth. <3

Okay, anyways, my days here are just, well, hectic. All these days it was just going to places to get my visa thing done, and now that I get to kick back, I don’t find things to kill time on. So, as a remedy, I stumbled upon watching Hindi movies. Yes, that might have come as a shock to some of you people, cause when it comes to me, I’ve always disliked Hindi movies because of their dramatic content, and laughed at anyone who’d say that Hindi movies aren’t as bad as we think of them to be. Well, let me tell you, they are right. When I finally turned to a bunch of Hindi comedy stuff, believe me, I was pretty pleased. And as it would turn out to be, I watched 3 Hindi movies in 2 days, moreover asked a few friends who were into Hindi stuff, for some good romantic comedy, which I dearly love. I mean, it’s like the best genre out there, if you ask me. Also, I talked to a friend about this problem I’ve been having, starting to like Hindi movies. She said it wasn’t my fault, and that is was just Bangladesh putting me on the vibe, since people worship Indian Entertainment here. Anyway, there’s this new song I recently got hooked on- It’s from the movie Anjaana Anjaani, which is a movie about two suicidal individuals falling in love. Starring my personal favorite, Priyanka Chopra, and Ranbir Kapoor. Good movie, but oh man, the song! Some of you might have heard it, but since I’ve just stumbled upon it, I think it’s worth sharing!

Hairat- Lucky Ali.

Man look at me now, I’m now into unbelievable stuff. Things I’ve never liked. The way I see it, I’ve hit the lowest of lows, or rock bottom, whichever way you wish to put it.

Adios, people!

Boredom Times Boredom Squared Equals This Post.

Hola amigos! I'm bored to death, and I just can't take studying anymore. One more page of that Organic Chemistry bullcrap, and Marzouk will be history. And, right now, I'm kinda stalking unknown people (Admit it, we all stalk people), and these people are all bloggers. So anyways, I'm moving on from blog to blog, commenting, following, checking out their pictures, usual stuff. But one thing I've realised that, these people blog on a regular basis, something that I'm far off from. And henceforth, I've decided that I'll update my shit more than around twice a month- the way it's been all this while.

Recently, I stumbled upon the fact that I kinda like to think a lot. Even in the shower. No, seriously. I don't know if it's just a girl thing, but believe me man, this one time I was in the shower, and I found the cure for Alzheimer's disease, and a plan that would eradicate world poverty. I would not like to think of myself as a philosopher, but hey- I love to squeeze brain juice. It's actually much like the political systems of a country. You have the PM/King, who are said to run the country, and then you have the politicians, who actually run the country. Based on a scenario like that, a real philosopher falls on the PM/King end of the continuum, and I, on the politician end of the continuum. Anyhow, to find the exit route of boredom, I planned on crashing this party I knew about, and I told a friend about it. The picture below summarizes my plan in two words.

Have I made myself clear?

But the plan didn't work out so well. I'm mean, he's dumb as a rock. Oh I tell you people, I've women smarter than him. Btw, I just got done with my Physics Unit 5 today, and it was better than expected. Better than expected on the scale that the amount of syllabus to cover was something that made me give up last night. Yes, you got that right. I gave up. I was supposed to come home and take a nap, but fuck napping! Although I'm supposed to be really tired right now (I've been awake for 36+ hours as of now), but for some reason, I'm wide awake. Which is why the reason I'm frolicking around on the net watching Aziz Ansari shows. Man, I love Aziz Ansari. He's probably the reason people like me were meant to be. So. Goddamned. Hilarious. But I remember this one time, my dream of watching an Aziz Ansari show for real got me into a tad bit trouble. It's pretty long, so brace yourselves. Go get a cup of coffee, if you like. Meanwhile, I'll just check out what's up on Facebook.

Yeah, back. Nothing new, really. Except that I decided to post stupid comments on some Harry Potter pages. I often do that. An example? I'll give you that. XD

Oh, yes. I fuck with them. (Click to enlarge, it's crazy.)

Okay, so that Aziz Ansari story. It's pretty sad, atleast on my side. But anyhow, it starts off one Tuesday, when I see this ad on the Internet, and it said that I could enter my mobile number, and on doing so, I would automatically enter a draw where the winner gets a ticket to an Aziz Ansari show. And to a fan like me, shit is like is way too feckin' hard to turn down. So, I tried my luck, and even before you knew it, I typed in my number. I received a text that night, which confirmed my entrance into the draw, and let's just say that came as an ounce of the greatest delight. However, the net day onwards, these dipshits started deducting 4SR/Day from my account, and this went like for a full week. 2 more days with that shit, and I'd have ended up on the streets, crying for my daily share of bread. To compensate for the cash I've lost on this, I set up a money making scheme, where I could get those not back into my wallet. The plan was that I tried playing monopoly with real cash with some of my cousins, but as luck turns out, that was a bust too.

I can't believe how these Internet dudes can just get away with shit like that aimed at teenagers. Believe me, it got on my nerves to an extent, where I decided to sue these guys. But then again, to fight a case, you need a lawyer. And let's not forget that lawyer's cost a lot of money, and like's I've said before, monopoly was a piece of trash. But believe me, I haven't given up hope yet, which is why I'm still smiling. Cunning as a fox. Fact is, I've got a link into these courts and shit. I mean, this law school friend, Ruqaiyyah Kazi, she's pretty far off from graduating law school, but when she's finally done Inshaa Allah, I'll let her fight the case for me, for free.

Yeah, that's about it. Here's a song I'd like to share with you people out there. It's an old Eminem song. But to all those who believe, let me tell you, Eminem's music is like wine, it gets better with age. I miss the old Eminem btw. Before he joined the Illuminati, that is. Sick bastard. Although, I still respect him. Here's the song anyway.

The Eminem Show. One of the finest.

Anyways, I'll leave now. Drowsy feelings setting in, you know. Later, I'll have to hit the Chemistry books. Got the second last exam tomorrow. Sweet Baby Jesus, I can smell freedom, already. And it's heavenly white light is somewhat shining from around the corner. I feel better when I think of it. On a parting note, I ask anyone who might be reading this, irrespective of whether you know me or not, to pray for my exams, as Edexcel is strongly against me. Adios, peeps!

Peace.

A Very Random 50. Response to Adler Seloraz.

This is totally random. And the only reason behind this is, I.., man, I don't know how to say this. Like, I've received my first fan mail, ever. Like, ever. And this feels great. xD

Anyways, out of all the countries from where I've had blog views, Germany was the weirdest. I mean, I knew Germany existed because of Adolf Hitler (Respect, Brah.), and their women with beer. So, anyhow, I got the email from this total stranger who currently resides in Hamburg, Germany. In that mail, he actually appreciates my stuff, and wants to know more about me. I'm guessing this is what fame feels like. Jk, I'm always fabulous. At first, I thought it was some guy at the CIA trying to track me down since I'm y'know, too awesome. But anyways Bro, thanks for your mail. You have no idea how much this means to me. And now, I'll hit you up with some totally random stuff about me that you've asked for- and I sincerely hope you like it.

Oh, and for anyone out there who might be reading this, here's a screenshot of the mail.

My first fan mail. XD (Please click to enlarge)

And now, I'm on it.

x You know my name, and where I am from, so that's pointless for an intro.

x Being awesome since February '94.

x Nailed all Bangla swear words by the age of 16.

x When I was 17, I tried sniffing powdered panadol to get that coke-addict feel. I ended up puking.

x I believe that a liquid form of cocaine is sold in stores under the name of RedBull.

x When I grow up, I want to be either a writer, a comedian, or worst case scenario, a doctor concerning forensic biology.

x I've been into the same girl for 5 years now, and the worst part is yet to come- which is that, I've never told her about it completely, although I'm guessing she knows it. I'm just that pathetic.

x I am a Pisces- 24th Feb

x If I were a girl, my role model would definitely be Bonnie Clyde. May the Lord take mercy on her.

x When I was 5, I was marooned by some niggers off the coast of Cuba. I fought my way out of that place even if there were a few male lions guarding the way. Then, I took the next flight out to Riyadh, K.S.A, where I currently reside.

x When I get bored, I blog. Or, when I get bored blogging, I stalk weird people on FaceBook. Which is why I hope to God that they don't develop a software which lets you know who's visited your profile. If they do, that'll be the day I commit suicide.

x My blog has seen it's birth at the greatest extent of extreme boredom.

x I'm one of those guys who doesn't get addicted to Call of Duty, but gets addicted to Temple Run, instead.

x I'm a really nice person, but there are a few people who I find annoying by looks. They just need a high five in the face, with a shovel.

x If I'm mean to you, it doesn't mean that I'm bad at heart. Cuz, that's far off from what I actually am.

x I hope to die by crashing into a glass building while bungee-jumping.

x I hate cats as much as I hate Lil' Wayne. And, it has come to my notice that he's currently hiring mobs to murder me. Well, Wayne, hit me with your best shot. XD

x I will never date any girl who thinks that cats are "sho cute", and "sho chweet". Yes, that's true. Even if she had a size D, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and had a higher a sex drive than 60% of the the pornstars today.

x It kills me when I realise that I've got many people's backs, but very few have got mine.

x I go crazy when I'm trying to imagine what my life would've been like if I wasn't friends with my friends.

x I love people who read my blog, and I'm open to criticism of any sort.

x Anger management is probably one of the best things about me.

x I used to write poetry long back, and now I realise how weird I've been, back in the days. When I turn 20, maybe, just maybe, I'll probably delete my blog.

x I make a lot of mistakes in choosing the people I can actually trust.

x Personally speaking, I think I've hurt a few people here and there. Unintentional actions.

x The best thing I've ever heard about my writing is that someday, I may win a Pulitzer. It wasn't sarcasm. However, I'm a 110% sure that I'm not even close to even qualify for the Pulitzer.

x Worse thing I ever heard about my blog is "Who reads this stuff?" And believe me, it was one of my close friends.

x I think Dan Brown is the best write there was, is, and ever will be.

x I love Lily Aldrin, and hope to do her on my boss's table someday.

x If I were to be committing a major sin, it would definitely be lust.

x My sanity matches Frankenstein's. Should explain how things are around me.

x I'm with Germany for the Euro Cup. Although, I equally support Spain, Holland, Croatia, and Sweden. (Mainly because of their ladies.)

x Even though I'm 18 years old, I still get confused about the spelling of calendar. (Like, I'm still not sure if it's calender/calendar, lol)

x I've never washed/ironed my clothes.

x I believe that every one of us has a loner inside. And that, is probably what the topic of my next blog post will be.

x I dream wild, man. I dream wild. This one time, I dreamt that I came to this big ass party in a stretch limo wearing an Armani suit, and a Tag Heuer. The usher opened the door, and I stepped on to the red carpet. Sometime through the party I downed a bottle of JD, another of FireWhisky, and went home with dead hot twins. 4 boobs, yes. That wild.

x My celebrity crush-list is 2 and a half pages long.

x Twilight hater.

x I will perfectly fit your definition of a paranoid person.

x I am seriously flawed.

x I'm one of the guys behind the September 11 attacks. I planned it with my Bro, Bin Laden, while we would smoke joints on the mountains of the Afghan Territory. RIP, Bro. You are missed. <3

x I wonder if they actually put Bin Laden in Davy Jones's Locker.

x Right now, I miss Tariq, Amir, and Ruqaiyyah.

x Even though he's an alcoholic, a sex addict, and has got extremely bad behaviour, Russell Brand is God to me.

x I am very, very tensed about my graduation, which is like weeks away.

x I have an imaginary Polish friend called Frankie Armstrong. Frankie's a cold blooded serial killer.

x Lastly, I like pies. And cocaine.

Alright, I think I got nothing else. I mean, you cant just expect someone to go on talking about themselves. Believe me, I tried, and it was then when I realised how I little I knew of myself. And it is with regret that I say that I haven't got a grip on myself, and the life around me, yet. But I promise, I will. It just needs me to set my mind on it. But anyways, I'd like you to know that my dead Bro, Bin Laden has just texted me from his grave, asking me to do a favour that shall greatly please him. What the favour is, is something you'll get to at the end of this post.

Brb, bombing New York City, atm. Peace.