Farewell, Twenty Twelve.

Just a few more more rounds on that clock on your wall, and Ka Boom! 2012 is over.

Man, I don't know about you lot, but here 2012 has been one hell of a year for me. There's a buttload of stuff that has taken up the whole of this year, and well, that is what this post is about. All that went down this year- everything.

Towards the end of December 2011, when all the folks were waiting for 2012 to come around, making new year's resolutions and shit, I figured that I had to be a normal human being, and fit in the picture. So, I decided to make my resolutions for the year of 2012. Now, as many of you may know, I love junk food. I mean, who doesn't, right? You'd be crazy not to love it! So my resolution for 2012?

Cut down on junkies.

Like that was ever gonna work, HA! Sure enough, there I was, on like the 3rd of January itself, stuffing my mouth with pepperoni pizza, and swallowing it down with Pepsi. There you go, resolutions- Crash and burn! Even though I failed to keep up to my new year's resolutions, I did learn a very important lesson. Never make any resolutions for the upcoming year. It is some  pointless shit people come up with, which, deep down they know, will not be able to keep up to.

Okay, since it was just the start of the year 2012, I was hoping to stay away from studying. Sadly, that was out of bounds, and that was because I was writing my A Level starter units, and hence, the "new year" excuse was no good. I had no time to waste, because I stepped into this trap myself. So this on the very first day of the year, I was on my laptop, studying. I got extremely bored, so I took a minute or two, and then an idea hit me. And that idea gave birth to a blog. THIS BLOG. Yes, my blog is the result of extreme boredom, and crushing A Level pressure. Back then, my blog used to go by the name of "My Life: As Marzoukeh", which was a really dumb name. A really dumb one, but alas, it didn't catch my eye for long. Dumbfuck, I am.

Anyways, one of my friends called Hamad- his birthday was coming up on the 28th of January. Now, let me tell you something about Hamad. This guy is the mother of the craziest ideas, and I think I am the only guy in our group of friends who decided to go on board with his shit. This time, what he had in store was to not celebrate his birthday now, and to celebrate it together with mine, and another friend's birthday.

So, here's the thing:

Hamad's birthday: 28th January.

My birthday: 24th February.

Naeem's birthday: 10th March.

Since February was in the middle, that's when we decided to throw the party. The three of us paid up, and threw the most kickass birthday party, ever. I repeat, the most kickass birthday party. Here are a few pictures from the amazing night.

Hamad, the crazy motherfucker

The author of this blog

Probably the next hacker to hired by the CIA

So, yeah. That's the three of us. Next up, pictures from throughout the night.

We planned to rent a Hummer H2, and buy half a kilo of...oh well, marijuana. Well sadly, none of that happened. But believe it or not, it was still amazing.. We were atop Faisaliah Tower, this awesome skyscraper on the face of Riyadh. And up there, it was scary as shit, windy as hell, and awesome as fuck. Of course at the end of the night, there was heavenly food.

Outback Steakhouse. Because like I said, heavenly food.

Awaiting the food.

Cheers!

Group Photo #1

Group Photo #2

The fast food guru

Everyone was supposed to be doing crazy faces, but, oh well...

Naeem, and Tariq

Probably stoned

Group Photo #3

There are a lot of remaining pictures, but whatever.

I miss this day, man. However, there is but one thing that I regret about this party. We didn't invite Shafiq, Raju, Shawkat, and Minhaz, because we weren't really all that close to them. Had I known that we'd become such good friends this year, I'd have invited them straight up.

WORD.

Well, all that fun took me away from the exams. Because, honestly speaking, I did not like the way I wrote my January session papers. They ranged from mediocre to trash.

And, that brings us to sometime around March. Amir, the "fast food guru" pictured above, had to move out of Riyadh, with his family. The night before his flight back home, there was this huge ass party to be attended by everyone in Riyadh. And sure enough, my friends and I showed up at the party for a last encounter with Amir. We gave him his farewell memento, and well, that was the end of it.

Anyways, moving on. If anyone of you is a student who is spellbound under some vodoo by a with named "A Levels", you know how tough this shit can be to deal with. What I'm getting at, is the fact that I had exams coming up on the May June session. And by this time, it was already April. I really needed to step my game up, and hit those books harder, because let's face it: I was never on good terms with Edexcel. I smack that bitch, the bitch smacks me back. That's how it goes. By the time, May came along, another friend of ours, Tariq, had to leave. His residency permit expired, and the Saudi Jawazat wouldn't renew it, and hence leaving the country was the only solution. Now, this Tariq dude, I knew him since I was a breastfed infant, literally. He used to be our neighbour, and I think he's the first guy I talked to when I joined BISES. So you see, I really didn't want him to leave this early. Anyways, what's bound to happen, will happen. So, like any sane bunch of people, we hangout with Tariq for the final time. We didn't really have a game plan, so it was pretty much random shit. We had "pani puri", at some Pakistani place, and I think we even planned to have "Kashmiri Chai", which happens to be one of Tariq's favourites. So anyway, we goof around the city, have "The Last Supper" at Fuddruckers, and go back to goofing around, again.

Tariq, with his trademark pedophile smile.

Trying to look "casual"

Talk to the "finger" 

Idk why he had the duckface on

Being weird, inside the ride

Le White Boy

Our very last group photo

Next afternoon, Tariq lands in Dhaka.

Now that the exams have creeped in very close to us, it was time for some serious studying. Throughout this year, no matter whatever was happening, one thing was always on my mind. Now that we were in senior year, and we were about to graduate high school just after the May June session, these were our final moments as BISES students. It may not be the best school out there, but heck, this place was mighty close to heart.

Moving on, we finally get done with our A Level exams, and finally, the time to graduate high school had come. Prior to grad night, the selection for valedictorian had been going on. Three girls, and one guy had to be chosen. And then, when I learned that I was going to be the only guy valedictorian, let me tell you, I was KNOCKED. OUT. COLD.

I mean, yeah, quite a few people told me that I can pull such stuff off, but this- to write a speech, deliver it in front of all the senior year students, their parents, the junior year hosts, the teachers, the goddamn principal, some God forsaken Bangladeshi politician, and a few dickheads from the Consulate? This was next level shit, man.

I was super nervous about my speech, so I called a very close friend, Urmi, and asked her if it was good enough. She said it was great, but I'm sure it was to make me feel better. If any of you would like to read my speech, HERE it is.

Here's a shoutout to Urmi, who is currently on her flight to Malaysia, to join university. Text me when you land, bitch.

Oh, and a few pictures from grad? Coming your way!

That awesome moment ♥

Naeem, and Adnan

That's us!

Me, delivering that speech.

I didn't even taste the cake. It was mostly cake-fighting xD

A few of the hosts

The smartest kid in class

Shawkat, and I

Sameeha, and Mina

My baby sister

Ifte, and Mina

Choosing a chick to hit on

Sameeha, Me, Amal, and Hamad

Okay, that's enough.

A week after grad, I went to Dhaka. And, I think I've kept you updated throughout my stay there.

And, all this brings us to today.

My watch says 12.00 am, on the dot. May 2013 bring a lot of happiness, joy, and success for all of you.

Happy New Year, folks. ♥

Jetlagged

So, I came home today at 2 am.

And immediately, I jumped on my beloved bed. Man, I was tired as fuck. I've been in 3 countries in the last 24 hours for heaven's sake.

I went to school this morning to meet up with some of my friends. Like you know, catching up and shit. And I shit you not, but I kept laughing for the WHOLE time. I've never laughed like this in a very long time. We talked about our future and shit, and believe me, THAT was the funniest part. It's weird because most people would consider talking about what the future holds is a pretty dope topic. So anyways, we were talking about what it would be like, if we all scatter ourselves for uni, and then have a reunion after the next 5 years. That is what it went like, well sort of:

Me: Dude, after 5 years or something, we should have a reunion.
Jehad: No worries, man. We'll have reunions every fucking day.
Me: *Confused*
Hamad: None of us are making any progress in the next 5 years, that's what he meant.

OH FUCK. I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY FUTURE NOW.

Also, I heard the funniest love story today. It's the story of my friend Jehad, and some Paki chick named Lamia. And, I'm so writing a blogpost about it. I can't wait to put it up, man.

Check this track out. It's a mixyure of dubstep and violin. And, it is beautiful. So is Lindsey Stirling, the artist. ♥

Talk about beautiful music.

Oh, and you may never believe this, but LINDSEY STIRLING BLOGS AS WELL. Visit her blog HERE.

Alright, since I'm jettlagged to the max, I'll go get myself some sleep now. I'll post again sometime in the next week.

K, bye.

Difficult at just 5 months

It was just 5 months ago, when we decided to come here. Tonight, we fly back to Riyadh.

Never thought I'd hear myself say it, but damn, I'm going to miss Dhaka a lot.

I know, after reading the last line, many people may go like, "He has got to be joking." Well, in all honesty, I am not. Even though tonnes of Bangladeshis often claim that they will never miss Bangladesh no matter how long they are away from it. They claim to be citizens of the country they live after being an immigrant for like just 3 years, or something. It's not that I'm really patriotic, but come on, Dhaka isn't all that bad they way our "American" Bangladeshis make it seem to be.

First up, I'm so going to miss fuchka. It's one of those street-delights sold by vendors on many a street in Dhaka.

The small cup in the middle contains a sweet condiment.

It may not have the best appeal, but it packs quite some amazement. But then again, there are people who have the idea that fuchka is the food that tastes the "best in the world". Well, people like that may, in fact, mislead you, and you're given something less than you expected. It happens, at times. Happened to me, tonnes of times.

Man, I've been to a lot of parties in my life. But here's the thing: I've never been to one like the ones that take place here. It's crazy out here, literally. Our Victory Day, when was on the 16th of this month, was when I've witnessed such a thing. There was this kick ass party, but the streets of Dhaka was even prettier. Every city has it's popular hang-out spots, and it is at these places where hot chicks flooded the area. Some were single, and on the lookout. Others strolled in with their partners, for making up, breaking up or, building up. And the rest? Well, the others were just street vendors selling nuts to add the crunch. However, there was something common in all these places. There were flags everywhere. And, yes, it did look nice. Kinda.

See what I meant?

Dhaka, like any other place, has it's ups and downs. Down, for the most part. But, I'm happy with the little good part it has, because let's face it, no matter wherever on Earth I hail from, a little part of me is this place. So yes, it's nothing weird to like it. I did my last minute shopping today, and for the first time, I took an amazing picture.

The rotunda of Bashundhara Shopping Mall.

You know, a lot of single jobless guys often turn up at Bashundhara Shopping Mall just to hit on the hot chicks there. Well, I'll miss the hot chicks here as well. No joke.

Oh, and this will be my last post here, because within the next few hours, I will make my way to the airport. Next stop, Abu Dhabi. And then, Riyadh. I'll post again, once I settle my ass there.

For some reason, I do not wish to leave this place. On the other hand, I cannot wait to go back to Riyadh. It's the strangest dilemma I've been ever hit with.

Yet, strangely, leaving Dhaka has becoming difficult for me at just 5 months.

Later, people!

The Mayan Apocalypse? Fuck That Shit

December 22, 2012 here, already. And yet, I live.

I wasn't worried about Jack Squat yesterday, until this came up on the lunchtime bulletin:

Scary, isn't it?

So, it's official- the Mayans have trolled us. Mean bastards.

This is what I did all day, waiting for all hell to break loose.

6 am to 10 am- Dead on my bed, since I spent the previous night watching my favourite comedy movie play list- Zoo Keeper, Ali G InDaHouse, Ted, and The Inbetweeners.

11 am- Still sleeping.

12 pm- My plan was to "wake and bake". Na, I'm just messing. You no do weed, because weed no good. Weed bad. Anyhow, I woke up, and took a shower.

1 pm- The Friday prayer, duh.

2 pm- Food. More food. Followed by pie. And then, more pie.

3 pm- Believe me, I went out of the house expecting to see something amazing. Like, I wanted to see it raining hot rocks or something. Or maybe unicorns strolling. Something out of the ordinary.

4 pm- Since I'm leaving this Monday, I need to get some shopping done, but I couldn't get my lazy butt to agree with me. The result? No shopping.

5 pm- You know, I was really let down, as nothing was happening. Man, they had this really awesome build-up for 21-12-12, and now they don't give me shit? Not cool, man. Not cool.

6 pm- I've sort of given up on the wait. But here's the deal, I'm gonna go out out on a limb here and say, that since Christians strongly believed on the 21-12-12, Jesus might be behind it. Because, just last week, I got email from secret_higher_power@heavenmail.com. The picture he/she emailed me was this.

I'm no Christian, but I find this pretty hilarious.

Okay, on I go, again. Oh, and note that this is my first post that has the "Dear Diary" vibe, right?

7 pm- I do not know if 21-12-12 was someone's idea of a cosmic joke, because sure as hell, it did not seem to be one. But if it was, it was a really bad one. Really bad.

8 pm- I was at my PC, blogging. While I was at it, do you know what my media player was currently playing? "Highway To Hell" by AC-DC. I decided that it was bad choice, should the world end. So, I changed it to "Till I Collapse", by Eminem. Because Eminem had always produced heavenly music. Before REHAB, that is.

9 pm- I watched the 2012 once again, just in case. I googled to look for someone who could lend me a plane, because I really wish to live longer. I haven't been with my crush for once, FFS. You should really see my point, by now.

10 pm- I just found out, that our flight to Riyadh is a transit flight via Dubai. And here's the good part: Instead of shopping for awesome stuff here, I'm going to be doing it in Sharjah. Happiness Level = Max.

11 pm- I figured that if anything was to happen, I would rather go in with a full tummy, as a happy person. So, I downed my dinner, and since I was dankrupt, I stayed clean.

12 am- The wait has now officially ended, and this post is starting to see it's end, as well. Because what I do after 12 am at night, is something that I can't let people know. ;) Na, I just watch movies. I wish I was cold-blooded killer at night, though.

You know, I think the Mayans didn't even do some actual research to support their conclusion. The way I have it, the appointed the best of their geniuses to figure it out, and the appointed ones were promised a life full of stardom, if successful. It is at that point that I think, criminal desperation took over them, and that led on to something. So, here's what they did.

Quite legit, actually.

You know, I've just had the best idea in a good while. If I make it through this, I plan to study, become a doc, marry "the girl", have babies. AND THEN, I'm going to make them watch the movie 2012, and tell them that their mother and I survived through this, just to have the kids. Awesome, isn't it?

Anyways, now that we're past the "Apocalypse", here's to the next 1000 years.

Cheers.

P.S- THIS POST IS A DAY LATE. And, I do not apologize.

Return Ticket

Hi, insane earthlings.

So, tomorrow's the Apocalypse, right? In the event of something horrible ACTUALLY happening, I've got nothing to worry about. I have already got myself covered. I made a sledge that is run by a pack of wolves, two Russian Dragunov snipers, and a cheesecake. Because, cheesecake is love. By the way, tomorrow, I'll put up a post where I make a list of things I do throughout the day, as I wait for something to hit us. If I don't post by 10pm- Dhaka time, please pay your last respects to my beautiful corpse.

Okay, enough with the Apocalyptic crap. 'Cause whenever someone comes up with something as such, my reaction to it is somewhat like this:

Sheldon Cooper = Awesome

I know, how ironic.

Man, I watched the Champions League draws today. And being a Real Madrid fan, I was very, very disappointed. We have to play Manchester United to get through into the QF. They aren't exactly the Great Wall of China, but they aren't one to beat easily, either. Plus, Cristiano Ronaldo has to play at Old Trafford, his former home. Like that isn't enough- most of us Madrid fans are counting on CR7 to give us that winning goal against his former club- the club that has made him the Cristiano Ronaldo he is today.However, I found a comforting stat: Real Madrid has progressed in three of their four European Cup ties against Manchester United, while coach Jose Mourinho has won six and lost just two of 14 previous games against the Red Devils in all competitions.

Phew.

As many of you might know, I've been watching a lot of Hindi movies/ listening to Hindi music ever since I moved here. And THAT is why many people have told me that I have "changed". Like, not in a good way, because honestly, I did not like the tone. After that, I stopped sharing Hindi stuff, but man I watched this one movie, and I couldn't help but share a particular song from the movie soundtrack. It is from the movie- Talaash. An incredible story, may I say. And if any of you wish to watch, let me hit you up with the ultimate spoiler. Kareena Kapoor is a dead hooker who died 3 years before the story time frame, and her soul still wanders the earth. There you go, movie spoiled. Anyway, here's the song:

Jee Le Zara- Talaash

Moving on, mom told me today that I had to go and confirm our flight reservations. Yes, I'm finally going back to Riyadh. So, I called this cousin of mine Zubair, and we went to the Saudi Airlines head office here. It was near a place called Farmgate, and believe me, that place is ALWAYS crowded. Oh, you have to know how I met Zubair. Much like our family, his family lived abroad for most of Zubair's upbringing. They moved in here from Kuwait a month before I showed up. So since this dude had a bit of Middle Eastern blood running in his veins, I figured that we would kick it off. And sure enough, we did. However, the first time we met was something like this:

His dad invited us over. So, when we were there, his elder sister took me to his room, where he was having a jamming sesh with his friends. Now, the general idea is when you're outside a room where a jamming sesh is in progress, you'll hear something. Like, the sound of a bass chord, or whatever. But let me tell you, man- I DID NOT HEAR SHIT. It was almost as if I've lost my hearing. Till date, I don't know how something like that happened, nor have I asked. However, we made good friends, and over time, I came to know a lot about him. First up, he's a total stoner. They say being friends with a stoner will eventually make you one, but since I've vowed to never light the grass again, I think I'm on the safe side. However, I'll give you this- Pot will give you super powers, and an immense amount of wisdom- for the time being, though. Anyways, stoner or not, Zubair never fails to crack me up. And that's because, at times, he has this attitude where he pretends to be all ghetto and shit- despite being a privileged teenager. Often time, I picture him as this:

Honestly, you're too fat for a thug.

Next up, he had a pretty girlfriend, but man, her personality was really weird. Speaking of the word "weird", this picture came into my mind.

I always had a massive, massive, massive crush on Lily Aldrin. ♥ 

Okay, so his girlfriend. I agree, she was undeniably "do-able", but that bad a personality, man?

Man, I've moved too far out! Where was I? Oh yes, Saudi Airlines HQ. We reach the help desk, and inquire who to go to for flight reservations confirmation. The dude at the help desk accompanies to a room, where we were supposed to wait for some officer. Anyways, we wait, and the dude finally turns up. We talk for a while, and after some time, he tells me that my visa is not valid. Now, if there was anything I was completely sure about, it would be my visa being valid. This guy was obviously playing some mind shit with me, and I was ready to raise some hell. My cousin was all big-eyed, and had a jawdrop, cause I mean, I usually speak up loud. I was NOT going to let anything ruin my flight back to Riyadh. I was flipping out, and for the officer on the pother side of the desk, I was just another brick in the wall.

A few minutes later, I decided it'd be best to kick back, and play my cards carefully. Because, in places like these, people will always fuck with you. Play your cards right, and you'll hit the peak even before you know it. Play them wrong, and you'll be dead even before you hit the floor. So, anyways, I think this is the first time when I have produced every legal document I have, and not left something back home. And surely, I was successful in swinging the scales to my favour. I finally laid my hands on my return ticket.

Checkmate.

12-12-12. Once every 10 centuries.

The much awaited 12-12-12 has finally come upon us.

So fucking what?

All the fuss, newspaper headlines, Facebook status updates- all that stuff totally got on my nerves. So, I did the math, and turns out that 12-12-12 will revisit us again in the next thousand years. They way I see it, none of us hold the slightest chance of surviving for the next 1000 years, and hence, there's no point in celebrating in such a date. My personal opinion is that I really do not see the hype behind the same number appearing thrice on the calendar. More or less everyone in Dhaka has plans for today,  except me, that is. I'm just sitting there, wondering what might be for dinner today. I tried staying away from it, and believe me, my Facebook was not helping me at all. This is just a part of what the people in my list were up to. Click on the picture for a better view.      

I can just stare.

The might be ambitious kids with telescoped on their rooftops to see if anything spicy cooks up. On the other hand, this is the day, when the Bangladeshi cricketer, and apparently, the world's best all-rounder Shakib Al Hasan is getting married to his fiance. To my horror, she isn't even hot. I mean, you're the world's BEST all-rounder, man. The bar should've been set higher. However, we respect you, and congratulations are in order. Other than that, there are people who might've already started freaking out as the "Apocalypse" is drawing nearer. But just in case it does happen, I got myself covered. You see, I'm moving. Moving far far away. It's not exactly what I call  home, but if it means saving my ass, then I'll do it.

I welcome you to my humble abode.

When all that is over- Happy Hallelujah! Not that I'm a Christian or anything, but it reminds me of something. A few months ago, I was talking to a blogger friend, and we were just talking about what we were up to. Since it was close to Eid, I told him what I had in mind for Eid, but get this: He did not seem to know what Eid was. So this time around, when Xmas rolls over, I'll talk to any Christian friends I have, pretend not to know what Christmas is, sit back and imagine the reactions they might have.

Now that the tables have turned, and the joke is on you- not so funny now, or is it? In the meantime, I'm roughing it.

And now, excuse me as I leave you to enjoy your 12-12-12, if you're one of those pathetic people, that is.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Lunacy At It's Level Best

I think the title says it all.

Elongated periods of absolutely nothing to do has led me to this. I even tried manufacturing medical grade marijuana, but to no avail. So, I turned to my blog, to rant about my life, the people I live with, you name it.

This morning I woke up to the splash of cold water, courtesy of my brother. It wasn't morning, anyways. I didn't have lunch, because I didn't feel like. So over time, I became hungry.

I was walking around Dhanmondi today to see if I could find any good fast food- KSA standard. While I was at it, I stumbled onto a very old friend. We went way back, that honestly speaking, it was hard pocking up where we last parted ways. So, we talk for while, exchange numbers, and part ways, which brings me back to the lookout for food. And let me tell you, when you're used to having awesome food, low humidity levels- only a few moths of the total opposite can bring you to a place where you're just a stone's throw from being a thirsty bloodhound. Believe me, I'll never take the food at Fuddruckers for granted ever again. Like, ever again.

The Works- Fuddruckers. <3

Truth be told, I'd kill to eat at Outback one more time. I'm not a major foodie, but NOTHING comes between me and my food. Since I was unprepared to go cold turkey, I settled for Nandos. I buy some stuff for my family, and head home. Turns out that a few cousins showed up. So, I sent our maid to Nandos again to grab enough food for the lot.

The "hi-hello" episode ended, and we play Call Bridge for I don't know how long, since most of my cousins are born "juwaris". After losing all 3 rounds, someone realizes that Nadia, a cousin of mine wasn't anywhere around. Turns out that she was in my room, headbanging to PSY's "Gangnam Style", which is weird. I mean, headbanging to Kpop, is like breakdancing to Thrash metal, and I think we all know how wrong that is.

See, that's a perfect example of the bullshit that I go through, in my place. Not the greatest Harry Potter fan out there, but now would absolutely be the best time to receive my Hogwarts invitation.

Here's some good music for you people:

Hit and Run- Breathe Carolina

Ever since my dad left Dhaka, my mom has become quite your average business-woman. You see, it was always who took care of the family business, the paperwork, the bank accounts, the deals- all that crap. Now that he's back in Riyadh, it's my mom steering the ship. And I tell you, beloved readers, some women are straight up dumb. I mean, don't get me wrong, I adore women. It's just that they lose their brains when they got a lot of something, for instance, money.

Let's take my mother for example. After she took the business into her hands, to everyone's surprise, she scored a really good deal, and made quite a good profit. Now let me tell you, if I was on the receiving end of that deal, the first thing I'd do, is book a first class ticket to Switzerland, book an luxurious suite at the Hilton Geneve, and tour the Alps. I'd blow any remaining cash on Eminem and David Guetta shows. See, that would have been an amazing way to "utilize" the money. But no, what my mom had in my mind was to open...no wait, that is not enough build up.

She planned to open a CLOTHING LINE.

I mean, what fresh hell is this? Clothing line? I'd rather give away all the cash to Jaago Foundation, which would be a better way to blow the money. The reason being, you have no idea what the Jaago volunteers will do for money. Believe me, my cousin is a volunteer- I know what I'm talking about.

That's my volunteering cousin, Rafi, selling roses on the streets of Dhaka.

So, that's what they do, gather girls and dudes, and send them all around the capital, selling roses. Once, I was on a rickshaw, and I was stuck in traffic. A while later, one of these Jaago guys come up to me, and ask me if I want a rose. It was a guy, so it was downright awkward.

Anyways, going back, I told my mom that it was the second dumbest idea she's ever had, with the dumbest idea being giving birth to my brother. Oh brother, if you ever decide to read my blog, know that I don't hate you, but mom's idea to have you was dumb, nonetheless.

So, I tell my brother about this clothing line bullcrap mom had thought up. And sure enough, it was like, he had laughed any harder.

Mom could've made better plans, but I don't really blame her, because she always seems to get carried away. I asked my brother to keep his ears open, and sharp eyes on mom, so that she doesn't end up telling anyone about this. The reason behind me assigning this task to my brother is that not only does this dude have his rock hard ears glued to every wall of our house, but also to the very streets. If there was anyone who could dig up any dirt, it had to be this dude. But alas, he never came up with any hard hitting news.

Man, I'm so done with my family.

Also, please lookout for my apocalyptic post, which is coming out on the 21st of this month. Not a believer of the Mayans, but I'll be there to make fun. Meanwhile, let us all wait for the 12/12/12 posts on the internet.

Adios.

A Guy with a Shopping List

It was all fun and games until Dad had to leave for Riyadh. So soon after his departure, mom said that I'd have to step up, and take "his place and role". And I'm not gonna lie, but I was pretty excited at first. That's because I thought taking "his place and role", meant getting my hands on all the family money. Little did I know, that I was far off from reality.

This post is pretty big, so here's something for you to listen in the meantime.

This song was used in Step Up 3D, in the Battle of Gwai routine. Anyways, going back. It all started with me having to accompany mom to the departmental stores, and help her out with the grocery shopping. Man, I think my mom is the only person in the whole wide world who thinks that shopping for food, and groceries, are just as fun as buying clothes, shoes, and phones. No kidding.

Slowly and steadily, mom upped the ante by making me take my siblings to school, to which I agreed without an argument. But then, she had touched the wrong nerve when she said that, from now on, I'd have to do all the shopping. I thought ignoring the nagging would divert her mind from the decision. Sadly, the trick hardly seemed to work, and she came upon me with a full blown attack about why I wasn't being a proper "elder brother". So, I succumbed, and finally went grocery shopping. At least, I went down swinging. It was at this point that I realised that shopping isn't as easy as I thought it'd be. To my delight, I came back with all the right things, except for one thing- the wrong brand of mango juice, which my sister wanted. And needless to say, she had a meltdown. Such was first encounter with grocery shopping, and I wasn't really looking forward to a second encounter.

Since I'm supposed to be starting university pretty soon, my mom keeps bugging me about why I still don't know how to prepare the basic dishes, survival methods bla bla, parental concern crap, you name it. I wasn't sure where she was going with this...until she said that it was high time that I learned to cook. The moment I heard that, it was as if a rug had been pulled off from right under me. I mean, come on, I did not see THAT coming! You know, all this actually reminds me of my IGCSE days. Sometime during 2010-11, my mom, and my sister travelled to Dhaka, whilst the two of us brothers, along with Dad stayed behind in Riyadh. I was stuck with my exams, Dad with work, and my brother with...well, he's good at nothing. Since any of us hardly knew how to cook, we'd settle for fast-food every single day. KFC, Burger King, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Herfy- every fucking day. And believe it or not, one day, we got tired of it. So the next day, we decided to eat home made food. But here's the problem: Neither Dad, nor my brother hardly knew how to boil an egg, let alone cooking. And I was out of the question. However, we were determined, it was going to be home made food, and not junkies. And finally, they came onto a middle ground.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my Dad and my younger brother decided to cook.

That exact instant, my rat instinct told me that things were gonna get ugly. They got confused between the spices, and all. To top it all off, my dad and brother got into an argument. If this went on for too long, it was sure to create some disturbances in the building, so I drew a sign on a piece of paper, and stuck it outside our flat, to ward off neighbours.

Except the fact that this sign looks a thousand times better than mine.

So yeah, they kept arguing, while I went out to get some dinner for everybody. Believe me, I was being the mature guy here. I guess this is what happens when you leave it on a dad of 3 children, and  14 year old kid to do all the cooking. I returned to find out that they've given up on their quest, and were at loggerheads. So, I got everybody at the table, and gave out dinner. I didn't know whether to consolate my dad, or my brother. But considering the fact that the Sarouk I got for dinner, which is an Arabian delight, was in front of me,  I decided it was best to concentrate on the food. However, I think my brother was really mad, so prior to the first bite of dinner I took, this is what he did.

Meant for some humor. Please do not come up with your religious issues.

So yeah, that's the mayhem we faced without a female in the family. I hope this doesn't happen a second time. Speaking of second times, I was forced to go shopping today, again. As usual, I came back with the right things. Only place I went wrong was that I got tomato chilli sauce, instead of chilli garlic sauce, which to my horror, was wanted by sister. The minute she saw it, the threw the largest tantrum you could possibly imagine. So long story short, she had another meltdown. And sure enough, it was worse than the last one.

Remember when I told you that mom said I had to start off doing a bit of cooking? Well, I thought it was out of bounds, until last week. You see, just a few days ago, a college friend of my mom's fell terribly ill, and mom went to look after her, besides her friend's mom. So, basically, I was hung out to dry alone, along with the maid, who would leave at 10pm, daily. And considering the amount of detail you know about me, you should know that I sleep really really late. I stay up blogging, watching TV, series, mainly pointless shit. So, it's bound that I get hungry sometime during the night. So, this one time, the pangs of hunger embarked upon me like the Angel of Death. And right away, I knew that this time, there was no running away. There was some marinated chicken in the freezer, and I planned to fry/bake/cook to make it edible in the least way possible. I tossed and turned and turned the chicken in every possible direction, but to my dismay, it was no good. I decided it was time to do something every true Bangladeshi teenager did. I got...Maggi noodles.

I think it was totally made for us.

You see, I always thought that all these food related issues were something easy, and not to be too worried about. I guess the proverb below sums up my mindset before I came across all this.

Lesson learned the hard way.

Such were my experiences with food. I pray that God save thee from such unfortunate events.

Later. Marzoukeh, out.

Random Life Update 2 .0

 Yet another one of my pointless banters. Hi.

As you can see, I changed the template and font of my blog, because I was bored with the old red-yellow look. I am not completely sure if this is better than the previous one, but whatever. Man, I don't think I'll ever be done complaining about my life. And as a lot of you may have noticed, many a time, all I am is a one-way street.

So, we've hit December. And, you should know how much jam packed this month is. We will be supposedly meeting the Apocalypse, as predicted by the Mayans. And then, there's our Victory Day. Or, Independence Day, I'm not sure. No kidding, but I don't have our national anthem completely memorized, either. So, I tend to mix our national holidays up. Next up, there's Christmas, if we survive the damn Apocalyspe, that is. And to top it all off, there's December the 31st, which I bet, everyone, sane or not, thoroughly enjoys.

I haven't really thought up of any plans for this year, which I really need to get at. As for December the 16th, I'll just have to make sure that I don't get too onboard with the vibes around, which might result in me doing something that is immensely messed up. Last year, at some Victory Day party, I lost my mind, and this is what I did.

In my defence, I was a year younger, and possibly, might have been drugged.

So now you have an idea of what I'm talking about. I don't have any lasting memories of that party, save this picture. I don't remember what I did then, but I can tell you what they're USUALLY like. And like it or not, they are mostly, not mostly, but always dreadful. There are people you hangout with, the aunties who love carrying tales, the uncles who would discuss nothing else, but the latest political issues, and then, there's the usual fight scene, where people start cursing at each other, in public. They say words are like bullets, but I beg to differ. I enjoy bullets way more than words. Way more.

I seem to have changed as a person ever since I moved here. You see, when I used to live in Riyadh, I used to be the polar opposite of a cat person. I know a lot of people who go like, "OMG, cats are so this, and so that." What they fail to see is, that cats are some insane, dirty, and not to mention scary sons of bitches. Little did I know, that all this was about to change. And this amazing thing happened, the day I met Snowy, who is a cat owned by one of my friends.

Behold, the most beautiful cat in all the world. People, I give, to you, Snowy.

Love at first sight.

Ever since then, I've been longing to get a pet cat. But, then I cooked up an awesome idea for a pet. My pet was going to be a baby wolf, because cats are just too mainstream.

So, when they said that I changed quite a bit, I guess they weren't completely wrong. One reason behind that, may be the lack of close friends here, and hence, the amount of fun. However, if booze and meth are your thing, Dhaka is the place to be. It used to be a lot of fun before, I tell you. I see these old pictures, and all I can wonder is how fast life changes course, without any warning whatsoever. All in all, I miss my friends. I  miss football. I miss the beloved mothership. I miss Saudi money. Simply put, I miss having fun. Not long before, this is what could be described as fun, to me. Hanging out with the awesomest friends on the face of Mother Earth. The picture below was taken at Tariq's farewell, the guy in the white checkered shirt. Behind us, is Hamad, the life of all parties.

Euphorial Climax.

So that's the turn that my life has taken, changing many a thing along with it. I was always your average T-shirt and jeans guy, and now, I'm a shirt and bermuda guy. Not the greatest change, but still as weird as any. What happened to everyone? Distance is now increasingly becoming a factor to be taken care of. What happened to all those times when everyone would get baked, and not be able to see what's 2 feet in front of them? What happened to all those times, when someone would splash a bit of water on you, thus beginning a massive water fight? What happened to graduation night? What happened to the days, when I got my AS Level grades, kept the original copy, and produced a fake for my parents? What happened to all those crazy times?

I may not have any idea of whatever happened to the things that made life worthwhile, but I do know this- no matter what, it is still worth looking forward to everything. Cause, that's the only logical thing we can do, right?

Good day, you.